The “Saw” movies after the first were a letdown to me, as well as “Touristas” being as dry and unoriginal as a remake of “The Hitcher”. My major issues with the first in the “Hostel” series were that I had no feelings towards any of the characters, the plot line moved way to slow, and the scenery was just not up to par with Eli’s previous film “Cabin Fever”. With all that going wrong I almost wrote off the sequel altogether. Lucky for me I did not.

The film starts off where the last one ends, and we get a conclusion with Jay Hernandez’s character. They move on to Italy, where our main characters, Beth (Lauren German “You are Here”) Lorna (Heather Matarazzo “Welcome to the Dollhouse”) and Whitney (Bijou Phillips “Havoc”) are studying art abroad. they befriend one of the art models (Vera Jordanova) who tells them of her get away spa retreat in the wonderful state of Slovakia. They stay at a Slovakian Hostel that has a very sinister secret (one we all know) and right away we are shown that things are not what they seem to be. We also get to look at the other side, the “evildoers” side if you will. We are shown the intricate workings of the secret organization and a bit more about the customers (played by Roger Bart and Richard Burgi).

The rest of the story plays out in the same fashion that all types in this genre do. However, Roth takes the time to introduce many new themes to the movie. Previously we only got to see the story through one character. This time around we are introduced to both sides of the story, the victim’s, as well as the assailants. He also did a really nice job of giving us some character background with some enjoyable twists that make this film more enjoyable for those of us who did not enjoy the first. The locales are shot with better angles, and the camera work is top notch. Eli also shows us what type of message he was going for, the human psyche and the will of survival, a lot more clearer than his previous work.

My only issues with this movie are that the storyline gives itself away a little too early and in doing so makes some of the film a bit too cliche. Another problem is, though I liked the ending, it was rushed a bit too much as if they were stuck with a time constraint and decided to use this part to cut back on. But over all I loved the way that the scenery was shot, the characters were given a stereotypical view but later on changed, and the message as a whole was portrayed. I am very happy with this sequel and am glad to see that Quentin Tarantino did not fall short on seeing Eli’s talent as a storyteller. A lot of people that I’ve read who gave a review complained about this installment but I have to disagree. I now am wanting to see his third installment of the series to see where he is going to take off from this storyline, as well as looking forward to watching the growth of his visions as I feel Eli Roth’s talents are being molded as he is getting more time with screen writing and directing. In closing I give Hostel: Part II, 6.5/10.

Great setting, good cast of characters, and a well translated from graphic novel onto cinema writing. For those of you who don’t know, this movie is based on the graphic novel created by Steve Niles. Although the setting is different in the comic series, the story translates even better onto screen….

We start off in this movie on the last day of sunlight in a small community in Alaska. We meet our hero of this film Sheriff Evan Oleson (played by Josh Hartnett) and partner Billy Kitka (played by Manu Bennett) investigating strange occurrences that are happening all over the community. Communication is cut, as well as all roadways already having been blocked for the 30 days of total night.

Things further get weird as a stranger somehow manages to make it into the town and cause havoc. Within the next few days, townsfolk end up getting killed off and mysteriously disappear. We are introduced to these creatures when Evan is viciously attacked by one of them. The vampires move about in a clan style way and are very well verse in hunting prey as you will see. They are given a primal hunting instinct with a bit of an immortal like intelligence that makes them deadly and scary at the same time. These are not your Anne Rice novel style vamps.

The rest of the movie moves like a chess game and each side is forced to move pawns, take risky maneuvers, as well as think ahead. The idea of their own humanity is even put to the test at most points (I will try my best not to give to much away because it is a pivotal moment). The vampires are terrifying and discourteous to the bitter end, showing no signs of relenting or letting anyone get out of this. Their sole purpose is to live and move on to do it again with the next town. Evan starts off as your average run of the mill hero, but due to drastic circumstances he becomes anything but. In his own words, “The things you do to save your own”. Stella also takes a more thoughtful heroine, taking care of the moral side of each character and trying to keep everyone sane and in check. As the days go on you really get a sense of desperation and hopelessness from the townsfolk that survive, and believe me they don’t survive for long. It all leads up to the 29th day when you get to see a wonderful ending that is filled with victory, defeat, happiness, and loss. I would highly recommend seeing this in the theaters if you can as the environment that is set in the film really envelops you with its isolation and freezing conditions. The terror scenes are done in great timing and the gore is kept to a fair amount that is just enough to shock you without going overboard or underwhelming. To David Slade I say great job. His efforts have put a smile on my face as well as a reassurance that horror films have not completely lost touch with actually feeding on the fears of the audience which most of today’s films have not been able to accomplish. He also worked with Stone temple Pilots doing the “Sour Girl Video” and is responsible for directing three of the many “Aphex Twin” videos (anyone that has ever seen these videos knows how great his imagination and creativity can go). So please, grab your significant other, pick up the big bag of popcorn, hide away your 20 oz bottles of pop/soda or water, and be prepared to feel the icy cold touch of 30 Days of Night!

I would highly recommend seeing this in the theaters if you can as the environment that is set in the film really envelops you with its isolation and freezing conditions. The terror scenes are done in great timing and the gore is kept to a fair amount that is just enough to shock you without going overboard or underwhelming. To David Slade I say great job. His efforts have put a smile on my face as well as a reassurance that horror films have not completely lost touch with actually feeding on the fears of the audience which most of today’s films have not been able to accomplish. He also worked with Stone temple Pilots doing the “Sour Girl Video” and is responsible for directing three of the many “Aphex Twin” videos (anyone that has ever seen these videos knows how great his imagination and creativity can go). So please, grab your significant other, pick up the big bag of popcorn, hide away your 20 oz bottles of pop/soda or water, and be prepared to feel the icy cold touch of 30 Days of Night! a very good 7/10!

This movie was a little better than Deathproof (review coming soon!) purely because it was action packed… never a dull moment, unlike Deathproof – Planet terror kept a solid flow and managed to keep me completely entertained. Lots of big names, Bruce Willis, Tarantino, Freddy Rodríguez to name a few – The casting for this film was spot on.

One thing I have to complain about is the editing. I understand grind house and its effect but, I felt it went way over the top on many occasions. Slightly nauseating even at one point. A basic plot outline: Chemical / biological weapons being traded on the black market. The chemical is released causing zombie like mutations – worldwide. The lead actress, Rose McGowan (known mostly for her role in Charmed, the popular TV series) does a great job of playing Go-Go dancer turned bad ass action hero and Freddy Rodríguez really brings home the kung-fu-gun-expertiese, Ex military bad boy persona.

The direction was excellent, some of the cinematography was incredibly believable and awe inspiring. The humor was off the wall. I absolutely loved the intro “Machete” sequence, pure genius. If your a fan of grindhouse or zombie movies, you have too see this movie, expect plenty of gore, lots of blood splatter on the camera and incredibly erratic action scenes.

There is also an abundance of tantalizing female flesh that should appeal to almost every male on the planet. (wow does Fergie look good in this film!)

A well deserved 8/10.

Paradise Lost markets itself as an “edge-of-the-seat” ultra gorey horror. I swear, i must have blinked and missed the horror. The version of the film i watched was also advertised as the “extreme” edition, featuring only one scene i would classify as “gorey”, oooh a girls insides, i have seen worse on ER. No really, I have…

The story goes(this wont take long) some american tourists meet some british tourists in Brazil, get stranded, taken out into a house in the middle of nowhere, and guess what happens. No, They dont all die, that would of made the film slightly more entertaining, Infact, i dont remember how many die but it clearly wasn’t enough.

As i said Paradise Lost cleverly pretends to be a Horror slasher, when in reality it lets down in this deparment, acting more of an advertisment for holidays in Brazil (Lots of drink, lots of very “free” women). Even after the film turns its “horror mode” on i can only vaguely remember one scene that could be excused as horror.

Another major disappointment was the way the film was edited. Technically the shots were nothing special, but they were comprehendable. This was then coupled by an editor who didn’t think to watch the film through once he had finished. Characters vanished mid-scene, then turned up again later on. It made viewing a joke.

I fail to see how it managed to pick-up as many rave reviews as it did, it is an abysmal horror and a boring thriller.

Cast-Away meets ER 3/10

The original Resident Evil was a very easy to watch, brainless horror. Plenty of blood and gore, and a vaguely interesting, if somewhat un-imaginative storyline. I enjoyed it. However Resident Evil Apocolypse, the sequel, was a complete let down. Not even worth a mention, so i’m not going to. Lets pretend it never happened. So how did the third in this series, Extinction compare? It could of been a lot worse! (and better)…

The world is almost completely destroyed. Every country has been wiped out by the T-Virus. The remaining non-zombies are living in giant bunkers underground, or moving from city to city. Alice, the superhuman who’s blood holds the key to reversing the virus is travelling from city to city seeking refuge. She meets some people in trucks and promises to take them to the zombie-free promised land of Alaska! Why did none of them think of that before? Im guessing zombies cant stand a cool breeze!

Director Russell Mulachy, who became famous for his epic Highlander series, over compensates in every way where this film falters. Piling in more and more zombie deaths to cover the constantly growing cracks. Kind of like a cowboy builder desperately trying to stop a wall falling down.

Extinction does live up to the brain-dead, completely obvious franchise. Ripping off every scene of George A. Romero they can find en route, hoping the viewer wont notice. Sorry Russell.
The special effects were definately above average. Watching Alice grow in power, learning to control her telekinetic, psionic, mind-control or whatever they were called, powers. Lets face it, 90% of the men who go to watch this are going purely to see Milla Jovovich. The same as ultraviolt. The same as .45
One addition to the Resident Evil series were the T-Virus infected crows which highlighted a well crafted, pretty darn cool scene. Alfred Hitchcock anyone? At least they tried a different director i guess.

This is worth going to see if you are a fan of the series, or wish to watch a sub-par Romero rip-off.
Un-imaginative. Brainless, but not hideous. (kind of like a zombie nurse) 7/10

Take one digital versatile disc, one very versatile director and one plane. Fill it with every feasible over the top character stereotype under the sun, drown from tip-to-toe in blood and await they’re outlandish exit. It sounds like any other zombie cult classic (possibly swapping the plane for a mall) and to begin with, I was almost quite excited.

We have the old pilot who’s on his last day on the job. The brave good-looking police officer who was born to save the day. The quick witted (camp?) criminal. The arguing horny teenagers, even the scornful nun made an appearance. After this initial inspiring few minutes the film turned into a lack-lustre blend of Con-air and Final Destination, minus the blood or tattoo’s. It really grinds my gears when films do this… Especially b-movie inspired zombie flicks. People are clearly watching for the blood and guts, half the film needn’t be “setting the scene”. The title of the film sets the scene plenty in my books, or a quick 2 minute introduction would have done. Not nearly an hour of toe tapping action where I can count the number of zombie encounters on one finger. There was no b-movie hilarity, no tongue-in-cheek, just pure boredom.

Luckily however the pace of the film did eventually pick up in a style remarkably similar to snakes on a plane, even if pre-production started prior to that film.
If you are one of the lucky few to have enough stamina to make it through the first hour you may catch glimpse of some of the spectacularly gruesome deaths the film has to offer, zombies being impaled on un-open umbrellas, or having their heads knocked off by a professional golfer and his 9 iron, each accompanied by a suitable one-liner. The type of gore every self-respecting zombie fan loves to see.
If like me, you feel the need to chuckle maybe even cry at the site of this completely brilliant over the top gore then don’t leave me hanging. Just me?

Kevin J O’Conners role as Frank Lee Strathmore, the criminal everybody suspected to begin with acts somewhat as a highlight of film. Delivering every line with that 60’s b-movie campness which some of the other actors could have learned from. He also gave the plot a slight twist that I found refreshing, however small.

If your thinking the only original thing about Flight of The Dead is the fact the zombies are now on a plane then you couldn’t be more right. Don’t watch this expecting greater things. This film harks back to the days of Evil Dead when zombies screamed for 20 minutes before they died, and if that’s what you enjoy give this a look.

Overall it gets 5/10; I doubt I’ll remember it tomorrow.

Grandmother used to say that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all, dearie–but she also believed my face my get stuck like that and in the healing power of crystals, so I’m going to say some un-nice things about Zombie Honeymoon (2004). Sorry, grandma. Don’t turn in your grave or leave it and make me shoot you in the brainpan…

The film’s story is one similar to Dead Alive’s of helping and hiding undead loved ones but without the brilliance of Peter Jackson directing, writing pratfalls, or being generally humorous and gory. Premise of Zombie Honeymoon being, husband dies on honeymoon because some dead guy, maybe a zombie (how? it’s unexplained) walks up from the ocean and pukes some kinda black unctuous fluid (what? also unexplained) into hubby’s mouth (why? again unexplained) killing him but also providing apparently the source of his renewed life as a flesh-hungry, slowly rotting zombie (yes, the characters do use the z-word despite violating genre conventions). Wife witnesses husband eating a guy and is understandably appalled. Then she’s not. Then she thinks continuing with their irrational plans earlier in the film of moving to Portugal (you’ve got me, probably based on director’s “true story,” addressed below) might make things better (wtf’s are appropriate here). In the end, undead hubby is about to eat wifey or maybe spit the de- and re-vivifying black stuff into her mouth when instead he projectile phlegms it across the kitchen, saving her life and leaving us wondering what the black stuff could be and why it was going to be vomited then and there. Regaining the power of speech suddenly for these last words which I feel better if he also speaking as a proxy for the director, husband says, “I’m sorry.” Thus endeth the movie.

The acting is less believable than the plot.

Apparently this is based on a true story of writer/director David Gebroe’s sister’s fiancé dying. Yeah? If you ever hear this caveat in a writers’ workshop, do like Mission to Burma and reach for your revolver. Headshots should kill the conversation. Point being, true stories don’t make it a good story. True stories adapted to bad romantic zombie films also make for bad film. Maybe my grandmother’s saying holds true with a few minor substitutions: If you can’t make a decent zombie film, don’t make one at all.

In a scale of one to a hundred, I give this negative 83 minutes of my life.

So I’m guessing this would be around a 2/10

1408 is a hotel room number, cursed, haunted and the ideal place to send a cynical writer of ghostly stuff. Expect lots of special effects, in my opinion already done to death in previous King type outings; and a standard twist.

I do appreciate horror fans out there will enjoy the film, I’m sorry I’m just not one of them. User review: 6/10

The movie seems to spend most of its time on the young Michael Myers (Tyler Mane) background, really developing his character and not really detracting from the overall plot only to do a “10 years later” on us. We have a good idea by now of what this guy is capable of after some of the brutal scenes leading to his loony bin lockup…..

So, the 10 years have passed, Myers escapes from his institute and goes in search of his only surviving sibling, his little sister. What baffles me is the time line, how many days/weeks have passed since He escaped? why wasn’t there a huge manhunt out for him? Why was this not on the news, warning of a serial killer on the streets?

Anyway, The movie was pretty solid, The environment was perfect, dark eerie nights, creepy visuals, the scenes were set for a classic horry movie, the teenagers weren’t too annoying, unusual and the acting was above par. If your a fan of Horror movies, you will enjoy this, but not as much as the original. 7/10