The “Saw” movies after the first were a letdown to me, as well as “Touristas” being as dry and unoriginal as a remake of “The Hitcher”. My major issues with the first in the “Hostel” series were that I had no feelings towards any of the characters, the plot line moved way to slow, and the scenery was just not up to par with Eli’s previous film “Cabin Fever”. With all that going wrong I almost wrote off the sequel altogether. Lucky for me I did not.

The film starts off where the last one ends, and we get a conclusion with Jay Hernandez’s character. They move on to Italy, where our main characters, Beth (Lauren German “You are Here”) Lorna (Heather Matarazzo “Welcome to the Dollhouse”) and Whitney (Bijou Phillips “Havoc”) are studying art abroad. they befriend one of the art models (Vera Jordanova) who tells them of her get away spa retreat in the wonderful state of Slovakia. They stay at a Slovakian Hostel that has a very sinister secret (one we all know) and right away we are shown that things are not what they seem to be. We also get to look at the other side, the “evildoers” side if you will. We are shown the intricate workings of the secret organization and a bit more about the customers (played by Roger Bart and Richard Burgi).

The rest of the story plays out in the same fashion that all types in this genre do. However, Roth takes the time to introduce many new themes to the movie. Previously we only got to see the story through one character. This time around we are introduced to both sides of the story, the victim’s, as well as the assailants. He also did a really nice job of giving us some character background with some enjoyable twists that make this film more enjoyable for those of us who did not enjoy the first. The locales are shot with better angles, and the camera work is top notch. Eli also shows us what type of message he was going for, the human psyche and the will of survival, a lot more clearer than his previous work.

My only issues with this movie are that the storyline gives itself away a little too early and in doing so makes some of the film a bit too cliche. Another problem is, though I liked the ending, it was rushed a bit too much as if they were stuck with a time constraint and decided to use this part to cut back on. But over all I loved the way that the scenery was shot, the characters were given a stereotypical view but later on changed, and the message as a whole was portrayed. I am very happy with this sequel and am glad to see that Quentin Tarantino did not fall short on seeing Eli’s talent as a storyteller. A lot of people that I’ve read who gave a review complained about this installment but I have to disagree. I now am wanting to see his third installment of the series to see where he is going to take off from this storyline, as well as looking forward to watching the growth of his visions as I feel Eli Roth’s talents are being molded as he is getting more time with screen writing and directing. In closing I give Hostel: Part II, 6.5/10.

Grandmother used to say that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all, dearie–but she also believed my face my get stuck like that and in the healing power of crystals, so I’m going to say some un-nice things about Zombie Honeymoon (2004). Sorry, grandma. Don’t turn in your grave or leave it and make me shoot you in the brainpan…

The film’s story is one similar to Dead Alive’s of helping and hiding undead loved ones but without the brilliance of Peter Jackson directing, writing pratfalls, or being generally humorous and gory. Premise of Zombie Honeymoon being, husband dies on honeymoon because some dead guy, maybe a zombie (how? it’s unexplained) walks up from the ocean and pukes some kinda black unctuous fluid (what? also unexplained) into hubby’s mouth (why? again unexplained) killing him but also providing apparently the source of his renewed life as a flesh-hungry, slowly rotting zombie (yes, the characters do use the z-word despite violating genre conventions). Wife witnesses husband eating a guy and is understandably appalled. Then she’s not. Then she thinks continuing with their irrational plans earlier in the film of moving to Portugal (you’ve got me, probably based on director’s “true story,” addressed below) might make things better (wtf’s are appropriate here). In the end, undead hubby is about to eat wifey or maybe spit the de- and re-vivifying black stuff into her mouth when instead he projectile phlegms it across the kitchen, saving her life and leaving us wondering what the black stuff could be and why it was going to be vomited then and there. Regaining the power of speech suddenly for these last words which I feel better if he also speaking as a proxy for the director, husband says, “I’m sorry.” Thus endeth the movie.

The acting is less believable than the plot.

Apparently this is based on a true story of writer/director David Gebroe’s sister’s fiancé dying. Yeah? If you ever hear this caveat in a writers’ workshop, do like Mission to Burma and reach for your revolver. Headshots should kill the conversation. Point being, true stories don’t make it a good story. True stories adapted to bad romantic zombie films also make for bad film. Maybe my grandmother’s saying holds true with a few minor substitutions: If you can’t make a decent zombie film, don’t make one at all.

In a scale of one to a hundred, I give this negative 83 minutes of my life.

So I’m guessing this would be around a 2/10

I’m still in shock I managed to sit through all 81 minutes of it. This sham of a crime / drama movie needs to be taken off any shelves and burned in a large open field so the stench of crap doesn’t pollute anything else….

I’m not even going to give you a basic plot outline for this one, nor list any of the flaws in this movie, what I am going to do is give it a rating of 2/10 and hope the rest of you don’t waste those precious 81 minutes of your life as I did. Horrible Horrible movie.

There are so many things I liked about Knocked Up, I’m not even going to list what I didn’t. Seth is heavily relied upon to produce most of the laughs in this film and he handles it well. His character is lovable and incredibly charismatic. He has excellent on screen chemistry with Katherine Heigl, their developing story line is captivating and incredibly entertaining….

The supporting cast all play an important role, Jonah Hill is becoming one of my favorite “Teen funny guys” after his roles in Accepted, Knocked up and the more recent Superbad.

Overall this movie delivers everything it sets out too, romance, humor, drama and scenarios a lot of us can relate too. I give Knocked up a rock solid 8.5/10

I find it difficult to believe how you could put these huge name stars into one movie and come out with such a terrible release. The cliché riddled, homophobic snore-fest that is Wild Hogs fails at everything it tries to accomplish. The jokes are either homosexually related or just not funny, at all…

The plot can be summed up in just a few words: Midlife crisis, suburban bikers take road trip. The plot is weak, an abundance of talent completely wasted. The script stomach wrenching, watching Travolta reply to some punk kid “yea, well, I hate you too!” and storm off makes me want to gouge my eyes out and throw this DVD out of the window.

This film will be on TV within a year. Do not rent this movie. There are so many bad things I could say about it I’m just going to end here with my rating of 3/10

I cannot give this film a fair review as I haven’t watched it in its entirety thank God, but if the first half is anything to go by I bet I can predict its outcome…

Questions will be left unanswered, the main cast are still completely unknown to the audience, nothing really happened, large robots who transform into cars came from a different planet, OK, well, maybe not that but I bet I’m close.

Am I wrong? do you not agree with this movie review? is there something I’m missing? leave us some comments, tell us what you think of first born. My rating is a 2/10